About the Author
R. W. Alley is the illustrator for the popular Abbey Press adult series of Elf-help books, as well as an illustrator and writer of children’s books. He lives in Barrington, Rhode Island, with his wife, daughter, and son. See a wide variety of his works at: www.rwalley.com.
Read an Excerpt
Elf-help for Dealing with Difficult People
By Lisa O. Engelhardt, R. W. Alley
Abbey PressCopyright © 2002 Lisa O. Engelhardt
All rights reserved.
When people rub us the wrong way, it causes friction—at home, on the road, across the cubicles, in the bleachers. For the sake of inner peace and the communal good, we need to find a way to deal with difficult people.
With divine wisdom, imagination, and humor, the Creator cast each one of us as an individual. "Different" is sometimes "difficult" to understand. Remember, you are different too!
Explore your own personality type and usual style of thinking and acting, as well as others'. Appreciate the interesting, valuable differences among you.
Each of us looks at the world out of our own mindset. But none of us is the "norm"— the poster person for perfect conduct or the exemplar of excellence. Keep an open mind.
If we repeatedly have the same difficulty with people, we need to consider whether we are somehow contributing to it. Ask a good friend to help you identify behavior on your part that may be problematic.
We often dislike in others what we reject in ourselves. What parts of yourself do you have trouble accepting? Befriend this "shadow side" of yourself.
You are not what someone else decides you are. As Eleanor Roosevelt has said, "No one can make you feel small without your consent." Don't buy into someone's mistaken judgment of you.
Every time an aggravating person pops into your head, pray: "God bless you, _____________." Wish that person well. Pray, too, for yourself—for patience, understanding, and compassion.
Excerpted from Elf-help for Dealing with Difficult People by Lisa O. Engelhardt, R. W. Alley. Copyright © 2002 Lisa O. Engelhardt. Excerpted by permission of Abbey Press.
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