Motherhood is beautiful; motherhood is hard. All moms understand this paradoxical truth. Yet introverted mothers face unique challenges. When our quiet nature collides with our often loud role, frustration and guilt result. We wonder why motherhood feels at odds with our personality, and in our darkest moments fear we're simply not cut out for the job.
In Introverted Mom, author Jamie C. Martin lifts the false burdens and negative stereotypes off your shoulders, letting you know you're not alone. Your steady strength is exactly what your family needs in this chaotic world. And when you understand and accept your God-given personality, you'll discover a freedom you may never have experienced before.
Jamie shares vulnerable stories from her own life as well as thoughts from other kindred-spirit moms, helping you add more calm to your days. Her practical suggestions and creative inspiration, combined with quotes and insights from four well-known introverted writers, point you back toward hope, laughter, and quiet joy. Whether you've just realized you’re an introvert, or if you've known it all along, this book is for you. It's time to honor who you are and savor life as an introverted mom.
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About the Author
Jamie Martin is a highly sensitive, introverted mama of three, who loves books, tea, and people (not always in that order) and avoids answering the phone when possible. Author of Give Your Child the World, she shares thoughts on parenting and personality over at introvertedmoms.com. She lives with her family in Connecticut.
Table of Contents
Introduction: You Might Be an Introverted Mother If 15
Part 1 The True Way to Live
Chapter 1 The distance is nothing 21
On Discovering You're an Introverted Mom
Retracing Childhood Clues
Reaching the Breaking Point
What I've Learned about Anger
Chapter 2 Learning how to sail 36
On Believing That You're Enough
Free to Be Who? On What Makes an Introvert
Sailing Your Ship: Lessons from Louisa May Alcott
An Introverted Mother's Promise
Chapter 3 A new day 52
On the Freedom That Comes from Acceptance
Self-Care versus Self-Improvement
A HUGE List of True Self-Care Ideas for the Introverted Mom
The Freedom of Discovering What's Yours
Part 2 Governing It Well
Chapter 4 No great loss 71
On Navigating Heartache and Disappointment
Dealing with, the Tough Stuff of Life Introvert-Style Keeping Out the Shadows: Lessons from L. M. Montgomery
Grace for the Introverted Mom
Chapter 5 Tenderness of heart 88
On Marriage and Raising Children
Sparkle and Glow: On Differing Personality Types in Marriage
Loud and Proud: On Raising Extroverted Children as an Introverted Mom
Alone, Together: On Connecting With and Raising Introverts
Chapter 6 Pruned down and branched out 105
On Stretching out of Our Comfort Zones
Even If It's Not a Definite Yes, It Could Still Be a Definite Yes
A (Hushed) Shout-Out to the Highly Sensitive
Kneeling in the Dirt, Waiting for the Growth
Part 3 A Better Guide
Chapter 7 Always good company 123
On Good Books and Good Friends
Bonded through Books: The Introverted Mom's Shortcut to Friendship
On Having Sense and Sensibility: Lessons from Jane Austen
Books Have Been My Counselors
Chapter 8 Feel a prayer 140
On Connecting with God as an Introvert
Walking the Road of Faith as an Introvert
Introverted Moments in the Bible
10 Ways to Avoid Awkward Church Greeting Times
Chapter 9 As the years pass 158
On Watching Tour Family Grow Up
Decisions, Decisions: What about School and Work?
On How It Gets Easier, but Also Harder
They Just Don't Do That Anymore
Part 4 Simple Little Pleasures
Chapter 10 In quiet places 175
On Cultivating Calm Wherever You Are
Quiet in Your World versus Quiet in Your Mind
Living Slow: Lessons from Laura Ingalls Wilder
A Dishwasher's Meditation
Chapter 11 Your own happiness 193
On Uncovering Joy
Stop Trying to Be Happy and You Just Might Be Happier
The Daily Checklist: A Tool for Prioritizing Positivity
If You Give an Introverted Mom a Smartphone
Chapter 12 A beautiful success 207
On Defining for Ourselves What Really Matters
A "Fruit-Filled" Life: A New Definition of Success
Brave and Bad: On Being a Successful Mother
Dear Mom of "That" Kid
An Introverted Mom's Manifesto 221
Epilogue: Dear Fellow Introverted Moms 224
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Disclosure: I received a free advanced copy of the e-book as part of the book's launch team, but had already pre-ordered it on my own. All opinions are 100% my own. I went into this book thinking I had a firm handle on my introversion and how it affected my life. But holy monster!! I didn't know what I didn't know!! Jamie C. Martin offers new insight into what it means to be an introvert, and especially an introverted mother. I devoured this book in days, all the while nodding along, wiping away tears, and feeling such a peace come over me as I realized that I'm not a bad mom - I just haven't been taking care of myself the way I need it. She uses a unique narrative technique that skillfully weaves the lives and stories of four famous introverted authors throughout the book - Louisa May Alcott, L.M. Montgomery, Laura Ingalls Wilder, and Jane Austen. Every bookish mom will appreciate these references. Jamie offers not only insight, but practical help for those of us struggling in the trenches of motherhood. I could not recommend this book more thoroughly.
Reading this book was literally life-changing for me. I finally felt validated in how much of a toll it takes on me to be surrounded by so many needy people and chaos throughout the day. When you're an introverted mom, especially one that is home with her kids all the time, your very job grates against your introvertedness all. day. long. The noise, the chaos, the constant interaction with other people...THE NOISE. There's nothing wrong with that, and many of us feel called to this "job", but the drain it is on your introverted self needs to be recognized, and I felt like "Introverted Mom" FINALLY did that. And along with validating the daily toll, it also helped to arm me with the tools to deal with it effectively, for my sake and for my family's sake. I'm so very thankful for "Introverted Mom", and will definitely be passing copies on to many of my mama friends!
I received a free digital copy of this book for being a part of the launch team after I had already preordered it. Wow! As an introvert who can disguise herself as an extrovert (very few people in my life actually know I am an introvert), I felt like much of what Jamie said was taken from my own thoughts and feelings. She didn’t make introversion sound like a disability. But for the first time, I understood my strengths and weaknesses as an introvert. She gives practical, hands on ideas for introvert moms to apply for self-care not self-improvement. I loved this book and plan on making it a yearly read to remind myself that God gave my children an introverted mom on purpose.
Disclosure: I received an advance copy of this book as a member of the launch team, but I also purchased one on my own. Whether you’re an introvert or you know one (you do), this book shows you how you can care for yourself and others in practical ways with insight from a mom who has been there. I found myself relating to paragraphs in this book over and over. With both humor and practical advice, Jamie shows us introverted moms that we are not alone, and that you can still thrive as both an introvert and a mom.
Jamie. You have completely wrecked me. I just finished your book, and I'm sitting here crying. AGAIN. I have lost track of how many times you made me cry. I need the Introverted Moms Manifesto on my wall where I can read it every. single. hour. I have been in such a dark place for such a very long time. And you have breathed life and hope into me again in a way therapy and counseling never have, and no amount of self help books have, and... sometimes even reading my Bible has not helped, because all I seem to be able to hear some days is the voices of people who expect me to be something I'm not. And even God's voice seems to take on their words/interpretation, and I feel hurt and confused and.......defective. So SO defective. THANK YOU for writing this book. For listening to God's prompting. For speaking life and hope into other moms. Yes, I read as much as most introverts do. But just so you know... your book is now among my top favorites of all time. Definitely the best book on motherhood. You have helped me realize a number of ways I am allowing other people's opinions to control me and the way I am "performing" as a wife and mother and... person. You have given me practical and realistic tools to use in a crazy busy chaotic season of life with littles to help me stay sane, and to help me be a better (more relaxed and happy) mother. I just might end up being okay, after all.
The Introverted Mom by Jamie C. Martin is the book that I have been searching for throughout my motherhood journey, and haven’t found, until now. It explains that I, too, am normal for needing space – and large doses of alone time – to recharge from things like extended outings with my child or playdates of any length or, even, fun times with friends. Jamie writes beautifully of managing a household, in her case, of children, and needing that precious alone time to recharge as an introverted mom, and she does so with compassion and grace for those of us needing the same thing. Throughout the book, Jamie weaves in stories of introverted literary cohorts, including L.M. Montgomery, Jane Austen, Laura Ingalls Wilder, and Louisa May Alcott, with ideas, presented as lessons, from which the reader can learn. Toward the end of her chapters, Jamie writes “Reflections for Introverted Moms,” which, along with Jamie’s “Introverted Mom’s Manifesto” at the end of the book, are so good that they are worth the price of the book. Each of the chapters, in general, end with reflections from real introverted moms, who are presented with questions that they answer, giving the reader great insights and suggestions going forward into life. I wish I had this book earlier in my motherhood journey, but I am so glad that it will now take up a prominent place on my bookshelf. I highly recommend it.