Kill the Farm Boy (Signed Book) (Tales of Pell Series #1)

Kill the Farm Boy (Signed Book) (Tales of Pell Series #1)

by Delilah S. Dawson, Kevin Hearne

Hardcover(Signed Edition)

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In an irreverent new series in the tradition of Terry Pratchett novels and The Princess Bride, the New York Times bestselling authors of the Iron Druid Chronicles and Star Wars: Phasma reinvent fantasy, fairy tales, and floridly overwritten feast scenes.
Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born . . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told.
This is not that fairy tale.
There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened.
And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell.
There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he’s bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there’s the Dark Lord, who wishes for the boy’s untimely death . . . and also very fine cheese. Then there’s a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar “happily ever after” that ever once-upon-a-timed.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781984800596
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Publication date: 07/17/2018
Series: Tales of Pell Series , #1
Edition description: Signed Edition
Pages: 384
Product dimensions: 6.40(w) x 9.30(h) x 1.30(d)

About the Author

Kevin Hearne hugs trees, pets doggies, and rocks out to heavy metal. He also thinks tacos are a pretty nifty idea. He is the author of A Plague of Giants and the New York Times bestselling series The Iron Druid Chronicles.
Delilah S. Dawson is the author of the New York Times bestseller Star Wars: Phasma, Hit, Servants of the Storm, the Blud series, Star Wars: The Perfect Weapon, a variety of short stories and comics, and Wake of Vultures (written as Lila Bowen). She lives in north Georgia with her family and a fat mutt named Merle.

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Kill the Farm Boy (The Tales of Pell #1) 3.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 17 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
all_about_books More than 1 year ago
Hilarious! But Farm Boy is not for the serious fair hearted. You must have a sense of humor that can truly appreciate Monty Python and Princess Bride. The story is a parody of every fairytale ever written involving a group of misfit humans and mythical beings questing to save a farm boy who is mostly dead. Yes, they believe he is mostly dead because they left him in an enchanted castle with a sleeping princess...are you getting the picture. I actually would have given the story a 3.5 stars, but the audio book which I actually “read” was exceptional. There are many characters this group encounters and the narrator has a unique voice for each one. The best part is the voice truly defines the characters. I found myself smiling and laughing out loud as I listened. If you decide to take this adventure with this hysterical dysfunctional group, then try the audio version because the narrator is a true entertainer by enchanting and compelling you to keep moving through their journey as if he case a spell on you. Thank you for my advanced copy.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Delightfully punny!
BooksnKisses More than 1 year ago
REVIEW PROVIDED BY: Kelly NUMBER OF HEARTS: 4 A Farm Boy, a Crazy Goat, a Warrior, a Bard, a Dark Lord, a Rogue and a Witch.... It sounds like the beginning of a bad joke right? But it’s not. It is the start of a grand adventure of a ragtag team of unlikely heroes. This team of misfits will face great obstacles, death defying feats, love and the value of thumbs!!! This book was a riot!! A riot of laughter, puns and gasps!! I honestly don’t know how Luke Daniels got through narrating this book. I would have been laughing to much or thinking “you want me to say what?”. But as always Luke did an amazing job of bring the characters to life. I really enjoy listening to Luke Daniels read me a story. Already looking forward to the next installment from Pell. Disclaimer: I received a complimentary copy of this book from Netgalley & Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine in exchange for an honest review. This review is my own opinion and not a paid review.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I seriously didn’t want it to end. I giggled. I snorted. I gigglesnorted. I cheered, threw in a few HUZZAHs, and I winced a few times. Best author partnership of the decade. I can’t wait for the next book to come out. Thank you Kevin And Delilah for murdering those tropes.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I'm sorry - I didn't like this book at all. I'm a fan of Kevin Hearne and was excited to read this book. I was very disappointed. Some of the characters were downright revolting and I found myself almost physically ill. The story was told in a arch, sarcastic way with lots of asides and puns. I normally appreciate that - if its done subtley and well. In this book it was completely overdone and detracted from the narrative. I got what the authors were trying to do, they just didn't do it well. I appreciate the opportunity to read the book and I hope they try again - just dial it back a lot.
milamberrex More than 1 year ago
“Farm Boy” is the first book in a new series by Hearne and Dawson. I really wish I could say I loved this book, but honestly, it was more, I did not dislike the book, so I will settle for a like. The puns are non-stop, and humor abounds in the book. While an avid reader of fantasy, I found the humor off-putting. It’s more a case of this not being this reviewer's preferred genre. If you love humor and puns, you will undoubtedly love this book. Note: An ARC was received from NetGalley in exchange for a fair and honest review
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book tries really, really hard to be funny, but sadly misses the mark. The characters are worse than irritating and the narrative is just boring. Can't believe this is planned to be a trilogy.
Sailon More than 1 year ago
Monty Python meets every fairy tale you could imagine plus some and you've got Kill the Farm Boy. Packed full of slap stick humor, outrageous characters and fairy tale antics to the extreme! Part of me cracked up laughing and part of me was shaking my head at the outlandishness. While reading, I couldn't help but think this book would be perfect for those who love the comedy of SPACE BALLS the movie. It was just a fun, fanciful read. I received this ARC copy of Kill the Farm Boy from Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine - Del Rey. This is my honest and voluntary review.
Emily Grace Acres More than 1 year ago
"Now look, kid. I'm here to tell you something important. The good news and the bad news is that you're the Chosen One. You have a destiny, and I'm here to bless you with it. Or curse you, whatever. Anoint you, let's say." Prepare yourself to take a second-look at damn near every fantasy trope in the book because, let me tell you, it's definitely in here. Normally I would not describe myself as a fan of satire. In the past I might have said the original is always better. This one might have changed my mind. I found myself laughing out loud all the time while reading, having not finished reacting to the last jab before they throw another, equally ridiculous one at you. This story isn't just one big satire though. It definitely holds its own with an interesting plot filled with childlike whimsy due to its serendipitous encounters and easily-navigated obstacles. The writing style makes for a journey that you can float through and be amused by. And this book is nothing if not amusing! Despite this the characters are far from immune to danger and quick turns of fate and I found myself genuinely rooting for them and their quest. This is probably because the authors created some really lovable characters, all being goofy and sweet. Inexplicably you don't hate them even when they want to kill and/or eat the other sweet and goofy characters. I hope the characters show up in the rest of the series which I am really looking forward to. This may not be the book for everyone but it is definitely the book for me!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Don't miss the fun <3
SCostner More than 1 year ago
Do you enjoy fantasy that doesn't take itself too seriously? Then you must try Dawson and Hearne's Kill the Farm Boy. As they share in the acknowledgements, "it was time to make fun of white male power fantasies, the formula for which almost always involves some kid in a rural area rising to power in the empire after he loses his parents, usually because somebody comes along and tells him not to worry, he's special." And so we have a tale that involves a farm boy named Worstley (he had an older brother named Bestley); a pixie named Staph, the Dark Lord Toby, the Dread Necromancer Steve, a female warrior in a chain mail bikini named Fia (I pictured her resembling Lucy Lawless), a bard named Argabella, a talking goat named Gustave, Grinda the Sand Witch, and other amusing characters. Our brave band encounters such fearsome obstacles as hungry giants, healers who use tentacled creatures in their cures, bejeweled crabs, an alcoholic monarch, and elves with a taste for cheese. Throughout the story there are attempts at bardic magic, several swashbuckling fights, leeches (but no shrieking eels), and quite a few leather boots are consumed. If you are looking for epic fantasy and noble destinies, this is not the book for you. But you should come back when you feel the need for laughter, eye rolling, and poking fun at just about every fantasy trope there is. This is also the perfect book for anyone having a bad day who needs some cheering up. What could be more uplifting than a rogue who is convinced chickens are plotting against her, or a magician with a taste for artisanal crackers? Highly recommended for YA and adult readers. I read an e-book provided by the publisher through NetGalley.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
If you take your favorite fairy tale and mix in some slightly off character tropes, unusual food choices, and really bad puns-you still wouldn't come close to describing this book.  Kill the Farm Boy is a hilarious and fast paced take on slightly off-kilter fairy tale retellings.  Worstley has the worst job on the farm:  he's the pooboy.  At least, that's what the animals think of him.  But Worstley's fortune changes drastically when a pixie named Staph tells him of his status as the destined Chosen One who must go save the princess who is cursed with a sleeping spell at the very top of a tall tower in a land far away...This would have all been far more impressive had the Pixie not been drunk, haggard, and only wearing one sock but the Pixie Staph demonstrates her power by giving Worstely's billy goat, Gustave, the ability of speech.  Unfortunately the goat has some major attitude and a huge hankering for leather.    This sets off a hilarious tale of a rag tag group of warriors, fuzzy bunnies, and a wizard whose magic is as weak as his scraggly beard.  We have Argabella, cursed to remain awake at the castle while everyone else is sleeping away for years.  Oh, and she was also turned in to an incredibly large rabbit.  She is somewhat saved by Fia, a giantess warrior who sees nothing wrong with her chain mail bikini and has a blood thirsty sword.  Together, they set off to Lord Toby to help right a horrible wrong only to find an incompetent wizard who is better at planning dinner parties than a spell.  With the "help" of his rogue assassin Poltro who can be scary when she isn't hiding from evil chickens, they set off to find the Chosen One and Grinda the Sand Witch.   Full of puns, witty banter, and a colorful cast of supporting characters, this book is laugh out loud hilarious.  No fairy tale is safe from mockery and no character too precious to be made fun of.  Mercilessly. Thank you to Netgalley and the Publisher for the opportunity to read and review this book.
DiiMI More than 1 year ago
My Rating: 3.5 Stars Strap yourself in, make sure your sense of humor is safely nestled in the crook of your arm, this nonstop ride is about to leave the station without nary a rest stop in between, which may or may not be necessary, depending on how well you can hold your puns. Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Ahearne are running an author tag team with satire fantasy and the quips are flowing like a chocolate fountain at the All-You-Can-Eat buffet. KILL THE FARM BOY leaves no stone unturned when it comes to tongue-in-cheek, off-the-wall storytelling and it all began with a quest…but so does every fantasy. And that where this one veers far off the beaten path… Loads of laughs, tons of fun and with a cast of the most unlikely heroes and villains ever, the land of Pell makes an hour in the Funhouse mirror maze seem absolutely dull. That said, perhaps best read in doses to avoid “quirk” overload, this tale sometimes gets to be juuuuusssst a little too much, too often and loses that “riding the edge” of hilarity and entertainment feel! I received a complimentary ARC edition from Del Ray!
Sunshine1006 More than 1 year ago
If you like a seriously romantic book with beautiful pixies named Butter Blossom or Sweet Rose, this is not the book for you. If you like satire, off color jokes and a pixie named Staph, you should read Kill The Farm Boy. Yes, there's a farm boy and a goat named Gustave. You will find some of this story reminds you of other stories I thought it was hilarious. I received this book from Net Galley for an honest review.
reececo331 More than 1 year ago
Kill The Farm Boy (The Tales of Pell, #1) July 17 2018 by Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne I love the premise of the book, and the humour just made me giggle throughout the book. I love the idea that you don’t always have to have Tolkin’s formula for the regular adventure book. I found Gustave hilarious and his reactions were classic Terry Pratchett. If i was in contact with the bloke that started me on Pratchett i would be sending this book to him.. Cause he showed me a new world of reading would love to show him that it continues. Thank your Kevin and Delilah for bringing to life that coffee delayed idea.. I am enthralled. I would love to me the Dread Steve, just because he sounded so much like a the creep you have got to know just to hate him more. I hope this book leads to more just like it.
In_My_Humble_OpinionDA More than 1 year ago
FANTASTIC! This book had me laughing, giggle-snorting and just downright enjoying. If you took Shrek, Monty Python and Fractured Fairytales added copious amounts of alcohol and shook well this is what would have spewed out. Many fantastic stories start with what if… The authors of Kill The Farm Boy started with what if instead of… and nailed each trope to the wall and remade it into a whole new image. No blonde haired, blue eyed, square jawed perfect hero in this tale; well okay there is one but… If you are out for a good time, quirky characters, action, adventure, and a not-quite-dead wanna be hero, read this book. Warning: You will laugh out loud possibly annoying neighbors and may accidentally douche your nose if you drink and read at the same time. You have been warned.