Napalm & Silly Putty

Napalm & Silly Putty

by George Carlin

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Overview

A hilarious new collection of razor-sharp observations from the New York Times bestselling author of Brain Droppings.

Few comics make the transition from stage to page as smoothly or successfully as George Carlin. Brain Droppings spent a total of 40 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list, and this new one is certain to tickle even more ribs (and rattle a few more cages) with its characteristically ironic take on life's annoying universal truths.

In Napalm & Silly Putty, Carlin doesn't steer clear of the tough issues, preferring instead to look life boldly in the eye to pose the questions few dare to ask:

  • How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on TV that it's a spy satellite?
  • Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people cook that stuff?
  • In the expression "topsy-turvy," what exactly is meant by "turvy"?
And he makes some startling observations, including:

  • Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
  • Guys don't seem to be called "Lefty" anymore.
  • Most people don't know what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
Carlin also waxes wickedly philosophical on all sorts of subjects, including:

  • KIDS--They're not all cute. In fact, if you look at them closely, some of them are rather unpleasant looking. And a lot of them don't smell too good either.
  • DEATH ROW--If you're condemned to die they have to give you one last meal of your own request. What is that all about? A group of people plan to kill you, so they want you to eat something you like?
Add to the mix "The Ten Most Embarrassing Songs of All Time," "The 20th Century Hostility Scoreboard," and "People I Can Do Without," and you have an irresistibly insouciant assortment of musings, questions, assertions, and assumptions guaranteed to please the millions of fans waiting for the next Carlin collection--and the millions more waiting to discover this comic genius.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780786871599
Publisher: Hachette Books
Publication date: 07/01/2001
Sold by: Hachette Digital, Inc.
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 288
Sales rank: 465,789
File size: 525 KB
Age Range: 13 - 18 Years

About the Author

George Carlin, author of three bestsellers, has released twenty-three comedy albums; appeared in sixteen feature films; written and performed fourteen HBO specials; received four Grammy Awards; and been nominated for five Emmy Awards. He was the recipient of the American Comedy Awards Lifetime Achievement Award and was recently named the recipient of the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor.

Read an Excerpt

Excerpt


THE NOONTIME NEWS


• In Rome today, Pope John Paul removed his little hat and revealed he has a small map of Tombstone, Arizona, tattooed on his head.

• Out at the lake in City Park, police have arrested a one-armed man who was bothering the other boaters by continuously rowing in a circle.

• Authorities say a severely disturbed geography teacher has shot and killed six people who did not know the capital of Scotland. He is still at large and they remind everyone the capital of Scotland is Edinburgh.

• A man at a tool and die company died today when he was hit with a tool.

• A Detroit couple is suing Campbell's soups, claiming a bowl of alphabet soup spelled out an obscene message to their children. They state that at first the little letters floated around in a circle, and then they formed the words suck my noodle.

• Millionaire clothing executive Dacron Polyester died in his sleep yesterday. It was not a peaceful death, however, as he dozed off while hang-gliding.

• A large dog exploded on a downtown street corner this morning. No one was killed; however, several people were overcome by fur. Police estimate that more than 600 fleas also lost their lives in the blast.

• A woman in Montana was severely injured yesterday when she attempted to force-breast-feed a wolverine.

• A man wearing a Have a Nice Day button was killed yesterday by a man who works at night.

• The Centers for Disease Control has determined that the common cold is caused by a tall man who carries around a bag of germs.

• Twenty-six people were killedthis morning when two funeral processions collided. Police say the list of fatalities does not include the two people who were already dead.

• The Mafia has killed an information clerk because he knew too much. His replacement, appointed today, says he has no further information.

• In San Francisco, a baby has been born wearing sunglasses and holding a small can of peas.

• A Milwaukee man has been arrested for the illegal use of food stamps. He was taken into custody while attempting to mail a bowl of chili to his sister.

• The Bureau of Indian Affairs has announced they have located another Mohican. Accordingly, all the books are being recalled and will be changed to read: The Next to the Last of the Mohicans.

• And finally, here's a Halloween prank that backfired. It seems that little thirteen-year-old Danny Obolagotz thought it would be great fun to soap the windows of all the cars on his street. He had soaped seven of them and was starting to soap the eighth, not knowing that the owner of the car, Earl Fletcher, was seated inside. Fletcher shot Danny in the head four times.


Excerpted from Napalm & Silly Putty by George Carlin. Copyright © 2001 by George Carlin. Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

Customer Reviews

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Napalm & Silly Putty 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 38 reviews.
RunningWithScalpels More than 1 year ago
I own a paperback of this and am debating getting a nook copy for the mere fact that if I'm having a supremely crappy day this book never fails to cheer me up...and between my phone and nook usually being with me, it would be super convenient. Yes, its recycled material...some similar things contained in this book are in his first, Brain Droppings...but the man is a pure comedic genius. RIP George, I hope you've been giving God and everyone else up there hell...and lotsa laughs. (A man this brilliant is not in hell either...)
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
A must have for any humor and/or Carlin fan.
Guest More than 1 year ago
The man is a genius! He says stuff people are scared to say. He is most peoples voice. If you haven't read it please do so. The man is a comic and social genius.
jimmaclachlan on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
The exact same as "Brain Droppings" - his stand up routine as an audio book. This has one big advantage to listening to his live show, no one else laughing, just me, when I think it's funny. No laughter drowning out the first part of the next joke, either. It's fun to listen to & made my commute so much nicer.There was some over lap in material from "Brain Droppings", but not much. Mostly there were similar forms; top ten lists, what really bothers him & poking fun at sayings, people & things. It's worth getting out of the library, but I don't think I'll want to listen to it again for a decade or so.
niteowljr on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Entertaining one-liners amd anecdotes from one of the premier comedians of recent times.
nderdog on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Pretty much just what you'd expect out of Carlin. Hilarious, rude, irreverent, occasionally obscene. Some parts make you think, others just make you laugh. A very entertaining read.
kaelirenee on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
George Carlin, only written. This comedian is a prolific jokester who writes down everything, catalogs it, and establishes just when to say something in his act. He is very thought-out in his routines, and it shows in his books. Funny, though little original from his stand-up routines. Of course, full of profanities, obnoxious jokes, wondering about language, and generally continuing on in the vein of "7 things you can't say on television."
RoguePencil on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
The cover promises "quips, probes, thrusts, screeds, japes, taunts, insults, musings, harangues, verbal ordeals, joy, anger, wonder, confusion, wisdom, hostility, innocence, impudence, reflection, and semantic distortion." That about sums it up. If you've heard Carlin's stage material, you don't need this book, because that's all that's in it.
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