Overcoming Passive-Aggression, Revised Edition: How to Stop Hidden Anger from Spoiling Your Relationships, Career, and Happiness

Overcoming Passive-Aggression, Revised Edition: How to Stop Hidden Anger from Spoiling Your Relationships, Career, and Happiness

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Hostile humor, negative undertones, and silent standoffs--nearly everyone has experienced hidden anger at some point, whether at home, with friends, or at work or school. Even if it's done to avoid open conflict and keep the peace, habitually concealing anger becomes insidious. When people don't express their true views and emotions, it undermines harmony and can actually cause physical and psychological harm. Tim Murphy and Loriann Oberlin explain what passive-aggression is; show how to spot the controlling, depressed, and self-absorbed behaviors that identify it; and share assertive communication strategies to overcome it, with:

  • The latest research on emotional mismanagement, mood disorders, and chronic negativity
  • Entirely new chapters about children and teens, divorce, and how to seek professional help
  • Advice on how to avoid the pitfalls of social media, texting, and online communication
  • Insights for educators, managers, legal professionals, and others
  • A new appendix for clinicians, physicians, and healthcare providers

Whether you need practical ways to manage your own anger or strategies to cope with this behavior in others, Overcoming Passive-Aggression offers powerful tools for enriched relationships and personal growth.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780738219196
Publisher: Hachette Books
Publication date: 10/25/2016
Sold by: Hachette Digital, Inc.
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 336
Sales rank: 312,221
File size: 23 MB
Note: This product may take a few minutes to download.

About the Author

Tim Murphy, PhD, is a psychologist, retired member of Congress, and former Pennsylvania state senator. In Congress, he authored the landmark reform legislation Helping Families in Mental Health Crisis Act, garnering praise and support from the American Psychiatric Association, National Alliance on Mental Illness, CNN, The Wall Street Journal, and The Washington Post. The bill was signed into law in December of 2016. Murphy served on the staffs of several hospitals, as an Associate Professor of the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine, and in his own private practice. As Navy psychologist, he specialized in the treatment of post traumatic stress and traumatic brain injury with wounded service members. With Loriann Oberlin, he is coauthor of The Angry Child. He lives in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, with his wife, Nanette.
Loriann Oberlin, MS, LCPC, is a clinical counselor and therapist. She is the author of ten books on psychological issues, health, relationships, parenting, and other topics; titles include The Angry Child (with Tim Murphy), Surviving Separation and Divorce, and Writing to Make Money. She lives in Maryland. LoriannOberlin.com

Table of Contents

Introduction xv

Part 1 Passive-Aggression & Hidden Anger Explained 1

1 What Is Passive-Aggression Anyway? 3

2 Concealed Emotions Put People at Risk 29

3 The Roots of Negative, Toxic Unhappiness 43

Part 2 How and Why People Act as They Do 63

4 Fractured Families and Friendships 65

5 Hostile Children and Teens 87

6 Sabotaged Romance and Relationships 103

7 Underhanded Battlegrounds in Divorce 123

8 Seething Through the Work and School Day 141

Part 3 Healing from Hidden Anger 171

9 Deeply Seated Anger 173

10 People Pleasing and Tolerating Crap 197

11 Anger Antidotes 219

12 When and How to Seek Help 237

Appendix: Hidden Anger in the Clinical Setting 257

Notes 277

Recommended Resources 291

Acknowledgments 295

Index 299

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Overcoming Passive-Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger from Spoiling Your Relationships, Career and Happiness 4.2 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 14 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
While I've seen other authors on TV and even read other books on how difficult folks act and talk to one another, this book gives better advice, in my opinion. I really like the first few chapters because it clearly showed me why people get to be manipulative, sarcastic, and angry. And it fits cause I've known angry people to toss out nasty remarks just to 'get at' someone else, and they do have some health problems just like the ones listed in this book. Best for me, I learned by reading how this is implanted, how to react. I'd never guess some of the strategies, but they fit too when you think about not feeding the circle of anger. If you deal with manipulators, read this book!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Easy to read. Great book - I liked the examples of everyday 'folks' who deny, manipulate, weasel, or push anger & blame onto others. A must read for every parent (great section of BAD things we teach our kids to deal with anger & how to say no without further repercussions.)! A must read for couples & co-workers of angry folks (or pessimistic)... The only thing I DIDN'T like is that the book doesn't give you ways to let your anger go just simply to 'let it go'...a bit of advice in that area would've been appreciated. Overall, buy it & read it! I'm on reading it for the 2nd time in less than a month of starting it...90% of the book was written about me, I swear...Unbelievable read!
caribird More than 1 year ago
Some of the passages have really helped me see this problem clearly!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
For those of us who can't afford expensive psychiatric guidence in understanding how some of our behaviors may present serious problems in achieving "the good life" this book is very helpful in understanding what and how we must change those behaviors.
Guest More than 1 year ago
At last, a book primarily meant to tell the layperson all about passive-aggressive men and women. Overcoming Passive-Aggression helps passive-aggressives deal with their hidden anger and offers their targets ways to cope and manage. Murphy and Oberlin cite revealing and instructive case examples illustrating hidden anger in different contexts, and they discuss the core interactive processes that will surely bring forth ¿so that¿s it¿ responses of recognition and pleasant surprise in their readers. Martin Kantor, Author of Passive-Aggression: A Guide for the Therapist, the Patient and the Victim
the_hag on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This is a book I would NOT put into my personal library¿I didn¿t learn a whole lot more about passive-aggressive behavior than I knew going into the reading. There were relatively few ¿examples¿ in this book¿and for this type of book and this guy being a therapist (and congressman¿he does beat us over the head with this fact throughout the book and it was more than a little annoying), I would have expected far more ¿stories¿ or case studies¿and they just aren¿t here. This leaves the book a very dry and relatively uninteresting read, as he actually deals very little with actual passive-aggressive behavior and goes off at length on nearly ever other type of disorder that can be associated with PA behavior. I might recommend it to someone totally unfamiliar with PA-ness¿but for me, this book left much to be desired. Additionally, the suggestions (beyond seek out a therapist/counselor, were excessively vague (another area where full examples to illustrate the author¿s point would have been extremely helpful). I rate it a C and hope that I can pull some useful additional reading from the notes.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Would it be passive aggressive to anonymously send a copy of this book to my passive aggressive coworker???
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I bought this book partially based on the good reviews, but was disappointed. I was looking for more detailed examples and advice regarding personal relationships, but it is more general and more about professional relationships. Not really helpful to me.
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Guest More than 1 year ago
This book was a great book to read if you are trying to overcome your own passive agression, and also to help deal with people who are passive agressive. This helps with any kind of situation, be it the work place, or relationships. I would highly recommend this book.