Finally, a no-holds-barred word on dating, preparing for marriage and maximizing singleness from someone who’s actually living it. Your attitudes about marriage and the path to marriage are wrong. Some you’ve inherited, some you’ve simply bought—hook, line, and sinker—and some you’ve made up yourself. They have translated into bad action (or no action) in dating and relationships. But it’s not too late; you can break the cycle of dating dysfunction and learn to honor marriage, marry well, and live intentionally while you wait. Lisa Anderson proves it’s possible.The Dating Manifesto is neither a cheesy formula for finding a spouse nor a feel-good book about how the person for you is “out there” if you only “believe.”Instead, it’s a challenge to wise up, own your junk, and chart a bold new course for your relationship future.
|Publisher:||David C Cook|
|Product dimensions:||5.50(w) x 8.25(h) x 0.75(d)|
About the Author
Lisa Anderson is director of young adults for Focus on the Family and host of the popular weekly radio program and podcast The Boundless Show. Her writing is featured in newspapers, magazines, and at Boundless.org. Lisa is a frequent guest on radio and TV programs, and she speaks around the world about relationships, faith, and the many challenges facing today’s young adults. She lives in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
Table of Contents
Prologue: No Single Riders 17
Chapter 1 Where Did I Go Wrong? 27
Chapter 2 What's the Big Deal about Marriage? 39
Chapter 3 Ditch the Hollywood Script 53
Chapter 4 Five Reasons Your Love Life Is a Disaster (or Doesn't Exist) 67
Chapter 5 Are You Marriageable? 89
Chapter 6 Prevent Dating Death 103
Chapter 7 "Soooo, How Do I Actually Start Dating?" 115
Chapter 8 Get Your Numbers Up 137
Chapter 9 It's Okay to Grieve 163
Chapter 10 Live a Little (Okay, Live a Lot) 177
Chapter 11 "God Is Sovereign … So, Whatever" 191
Afterword: A Note to the Church, Parents, Oldsters, and Married Peeps in General 201
Group Discussion Questions 229
What People are Saying About This
“A wise book from a woman who understands the pressures of Christian dating and singleness as well as anyone in the world. Lisa’s fun personality, concern for others, depth of thought, and no-nonsense approach to life and love are on full display. I loved The Dating Manifesto and am giving a copy to both my daughters.”Gary Thomas, author of Sacred Marriage and The Sacred Search
“Lisa Anderson is one of those delightfully blunt people who makes you laugh and think. She’s funny and smart. But better than that: She has wisdom to offer. And—especially when it comes to relationship issues—that’s in short supply. It’s worth buying this book for chapter 11 alone. People need to hear this.”Brant Hansen, radio host, author of Unoffendable, and storyteller for CURE International
“Lisa is saying what few others—married or single—in the church are willing to say. I appreciate the wit, wisdom, and candor that she brings to Focus on the Family’s Boundless ministry on a daily basis. The Dating Manifesto is essential reading for single men and women, as well as for anyone who cares about them.” Jim Daly, president of Focus on the Family
“Reading The Dating Manifesto is like sitting down for a cup of coffee with an older, wiser, funnier friend! Lisa challenges singles to stop making excuses and start taking responsibility for their lives and relationships. If you’re single, this is a book that will both challenge you and encourage you.”Debra Fileta, MA, LPC, author of True Love Dates, TrueLoveDates.com
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
"The Dating Manifesto: A Drama-Free Plan for Pursuing Marriage with Purpose" is a book I highly recommend. I first learned about the author from her involvement in the Boundless show. I've enjoyed her wisdom, Godly perspective, and sense of humor, so when I heard she was writing a book, I was excited to read it. And I wasn't disappointed! There are a lot of dating/relationships books out there, and I feel like I've read most of them. There are so many different opinions on this subject, from people telling you to go the super-conservative courtship route, to the date-without-discretion method. The Dating Manifesto strikes a good balance. The Dating Manifesto is full of solid, practical dating (and life) advice. It talks about what's wonderful about being single, while still encouraging people to esteem and plan for marriage if they believe that is meant for them. This book tells it straight, to both guys and girls, telling them they need to get involved in a Christian community, and also addresses issues that often arise with singles. It also has practical "tips and tricks" and some of the "how-to"s of dating. The advice in this book has without doubt helped me in the way I view and handle relationships. It's encouraging and absolutely hilarious (at least to my sense of humor) and something I can wholeheartedly recommend. (In the spirit of full disclosure, I want to make sure I mention that I will be receiving a copy of the book for writing this review. But, I was planning to buy the book already anyway, and I liked the book so much I bought two copies with my own money to give away to friends. And I truly do believe it deserves a 5-star rating.)
I don't usually leave reviews on books, but Lisa Anderson's clarity when it comes to discussing dating, relationships, and marriage deserves to be talked about. When she says drama-free in the subtitle, she means it. Speaking with the same forthrightness that she does each week on The Boundless Show, she lays out her story as she wisely guides singles through not just the practical steps but also the inside work each person should do in order to prepare for marriage. Lisa says that marriage is too important to be treated lightly, and to anticipate and prepare so it doesn't suddenly come upon you like the flu. Her honesty resonates as she talks about 'no single riders' and how 'it's okay to grieve' your singleness. She's very clear about how culture has moved away from marriage, and the attitude towards it has gone from "rah-rah" to "meh" within the span of one-to-two generations. In a counter-cultural move, she talks about young people being intentional in moving towards marriage alongside career goals, instead of having it be a vague notion in the back of their minds as a status to be achieved when they're grown (e.g. successful in a career). While she does affirm singleness as a state that can be utilized well in working for the advancement of the gospel, she doesn't hesitate to state that the norm for the vast majority of adults is marriage, and that God Himself is not just a fan of the state of marriage, but of the marriage of each person He loves, whether it has happened yet or not. Lisa also isn't hesitant in calling out the young people of the church on behavior that is the antithesis of what God's plan is - e.g. having sex before marriage, and I applaud her for not hesitating to put that in writing. In a bonus afterward, she also lays out how the church, parents, older people and married couples can help the singles in their community move healthily towards marriage. As marriage was never intended to be carried out in secrecy, but in the full view of the community, I can't stress how important this afterword is with regard to the benefit it can provide.
One of the best books I've ever read! I've been a fan of Lisa's speaking and writing for a long time, and was so excited when I heard she was writing a book -- her book more than exceeded my expectations! Lisa writes in a genuine, no-nonsense way, and also has a great sense of humor...the combination is a practical, heartfelt book full of wisdom that I will be pondering for weeks and months to come. Her writing is packed with truth that left me in awe of God and his plans for marriage/relationships. Can't wait to start reading it a second time!
If you date, plan to date, or know someone who dates, you need to buy this book. This book outshines all other Christian books on dating (& I've read most of them). Lisa's personal stories of dating & desiring marriage into her 40's, practical advice for singles, Biblically grounded wisdom, & hard truths are interlaced with her quick wit & dry humor. If you're single, this is the only dating book you need. If you're married, buy it anyway, read the Afterward "A note to the Church, parents, oldsters, and married peeps in general," then pass it along to a single person.
The Dating Manifesto is a book I would recommend to all of my friends who have yet to be married. I would also recommend it for anyone who has a close single friend or family member. Lisa is witty and intelligent, and her writing is so relatable. She preaches Truth from the Scripture, shows her own vulnerability in wanting to be married, and is honest about the struggles and joys of being a single woman. She shares personal stories that could easily make you laugh (or cry) out loud, and I think that's one of the most valuable characteristics of a book. I'm always grateful to read genuine spirit-filled words from a genuine spirit-filled author, and The Dating Manifesto and Lisa Anderson are just that.
I wish I could have read this 10 years ago!! My favorite book on dating I do believe. I expected to feel either very challenged or very encouraged, but feeling equally encouraged and challenged is a great surprise. My favorite quote from the book really convicted me. "If we treat marriage as something we're owed--- and not getting it on our terms and timeline makes us bitter, crazy, or all around ungrateful--we need a major heart check."