This book answers the questions of why men cheat and why they continue to cheat even after they have been caught. The author was a player, pimp, male escort, and gigolo for over thirty years; and he has had sex with hundreds of women of all ages, colors, races, and ethnic backgrounds, most of them single and some married.
|Publisher:||Westwood Books Publishing LLC|
|Sold by:||Barnes & Noble|
|File size:||893 KB|
|Age Range:||13 - 18 Years|
About the Author
Read an Excerpt
Ladies, Let Me Share Something with You
Ladies, you must first understand why your man is with you in the first place. Sure, he loves you, but more than that, he needs you — and not for the reason you might think. Ladies, your man needs you to get his four basic needs met:
Most men — not all men — are with their wives or women because they know they will get these four basic needs taken care of. Ladies, let me break it down for you.
Ladies, think about this: there is nothing in the world you can't do if you have money. Most of the time when a man and a woman get together and enter into a marriage or relationship, the woman's income is more than the man's, and sometimes it's the only income in the home. This is because the woman is more likely to have a better education than the man she is with. This means she can get a better-paying job or career. Even though it is her money, she gladly shares it with her man.
Ladies, think about this: most of the time when a man and a woman are together and decide to take their relationship to the next level and live together, the man is going to move into her place. Even though it is her place, she gladly shares it with her man.
Ladies, your man knows you have a job or career and you have the money to buy all the food you want, and he will never go hungry or do without. Even though it's your food, you gladly share your food with your man.
Ladies, you have all of that, if you know what I mean. But you gladly share it with your man.
There you have it, ladies: your man's four basic needs. One or all of these is why he needs you and is with you. He does love you; even more so, he needs you to provide his basic four needs: money, lodging, food, and sex.
Ladies, let me start by saying two things.
First, there are lots of good men out there. They are good husbands, fathers, and boyfriends, but unfortunately, these are the men you never hear about. No one talks about these men and the good things they do for their wives and families. These are the men who love, respect, work hard every day, and care for their women and families. But we are not talking about them. We are talking about the cheaters.
Second, ladies, it is not your fault your husband or man cheats on you. His cheating has nothing to do with you. I will explain that to you later. Now this is the question I have been asked over a thousand times, and a thousand times I have given you the same answer. Why do men cheat?
Men cheat because men want to. I'm sorry to disappoint you, ladies, but that's your answer. There is no long, drawn-out answer. It's short, sweet, and to the point. Men cheat because men want to. It has nothing to do with you or the way your marriage or relationship is going or what you are doing or not doing in your marriage or relationship.
Now let me explain why your man will cheat on you, no matter what you look like or what you do for him. You could look like a supermodel and give your man all that good, freaky sex he likes and let him have a threesome with you and your best friend, and your man will cheat on you with your best friend when you are not around. If you have a new Mercedes-Benz and let him drive it, he will use your car to ride his other woman around and cheat on you. If you have a big house and you keep it clean and spotless and let him live in it for free, he will bring another woman into your house and cheat in your bedroom, dirtying up your bed. You can be a gourmet cook and make his favorite meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner seven days a week, and what he doesn't eat he will take to the other woman he is cheating with and feed it to her. If you make $100,000 a year at your job and give him half the money, he will use it to cheat on you with other women.
Ladies, your men cheat on you because men want to, and it has nothing to do with you.
Now I'm going to ask you a question. Do you know why your husband or man continues to cheat on you? There is an easy answer to that question. It's because you allow it. Now before you get mad at me, ask yourself the below questions, and you will find your answers. Ladies, please be honest with your answers. You asked me why men cheat, and these are some of the reasons. There are lots more.
1. Have you ever caught your husband or man cheating on you?
2. Has your husband or man cheated on you more than one time and you are still with him?
3. When you did catch your husband or man cheating, did you accept his apology and his reason for doing it?
4. When your husband or man cheated on you, was it with someone you knew — a friend, sister, family member, neighbor, ex-wife, ex-girlfriend, coworker, your mother, or another man?
5. Did you forgive him for what he did?
6. Do your husband or man cheat on you and blame you for his cheating? Does he say things like the following? "You gained a lot of weight." "You don't look like you did when we first met." "You don't have sex with me like you used to and do all those freaky things that you used to."
7. Does your husband or man go out to the club or to his boys' house and not come home until early the next morning or not come home at all sometimes for days?
8. Does your husband or man enjoy hanging out with his boys drinking, smoking, playing video games, and going to the strip club more than he likes spending quality time with you?
9. Has your husband or man ever given you an STD (sexually transmitted disease) and you forgave him and continued to have unprotected sex with him?
10. Has your husband or man ever had a child or children outside the marriage or relationship and you forgave him?
11. Has your husband or man ever hit you or beat you and you stayed with him?
12. Has your husband or man ever called you a bitch, whore, or something worse?
13. Does your husband or man say or do mean and hateful things to you?
14. Does your husband or man tell you he loves you because he wants you to know how he feels about you? Or does he only say it to you when he is trying to apologize for something he has done wrong?
15. Do you think your husband or man is just as committed to making the marriage or relationship work as you are?
16. Does your husband or man compliment you on your looks and dress? Does he talk about how good other women look?
17. Do you know who your husband's or man's side chick or woman on the side is?
18. How many times has your husband or man broken your heart and you've forgiven him? Or have you stopped counting?
19. How many times has your husband or man quit a job, walked off a job, or just refused to work and you had to make sure all of the bills got paid? Or you don't want to talk about it?
20. Has your husband or man ever stolen anything from you, such as money, jewelry, your car, your furniture, or household appliances?
21. How many times has your husband or man walked out of your life and you let him back in? Or have you stopped counting?
22. Do you still have a sexual attraction for your husband or man?
23. If you could get a do-over, would you still choose to be married or be in a relationship with the man you are with?
24. Do you think your husband or man loves you?
25. Do you still love your husband or man?
Ladies, if you have experienced one or more of these things with your husband or man and you are still with him, then these are the reasons your husband or man cheats on you: because you allow it.
Guys, if you have done one or more of these things to your wife or woman and she is still with you, it doesn't mean you have game. It means that your good woman truly loves your dumb, cheating ass and you are too damn dumb to know it.
Ladies, your man continues to cheat because you allow it. He knows when you do catch him, you will be mad, you will cuss, scream, and yell, and you may even try to fight him, but your ultimate punishment to him is to withhold sex from him for a few days or two weeks. Ladies, your man knows he will get one or maybe all of these things done to him. Ask yourself if you were a man and you did one or more of the things listed and your ultimate punishment was that your wife or woman would withhold sex from you for a few days or two weeks, would you stop cheating? Ladies, your man, children, friends, and family can only do to you what you allow them to do to you. People will treat you the way you allow them to treat you. A man can only keep hurting you only if you allow him to keep hurting you. So there you have it, ladies. Your husband or man cheats on you because he wants to, but he continues to cheat on you because you allow it.
Just Call Her Baby
Ladies, back in the days when I was having sex with all those women, most of time I didn't even know their names. This is because when I met a woman out on the town or at the club, we have some drinks, and afterward we went to my place to have sex. I would wake up the next morning not knowing or remembering her name or who the hell she was. I had to think of something to call her, so I would call her baby. For some reason, women love to be called baby, and it worked every time for me. Your man will use this word on you when you have caught him cheating. Ladies, when you do catch your man cheating, he knows the exact word to use on you to get out of trouble — baby. Baby, forgive me. Baby, I won't do it again. Baby, I'm sorry. Baby, I love you. Baby, please don't leave. Baby, please take me back. Baby, it won't happen again. Baby, give me another chance. Baby, it's all over with her. Baby, I will make it up to you. Baby, she didn't mean anything to me. Baby, it was only one time. Baby, I promise I won't see her again. Baby, you can trust me. Baby, I am telling you the truth. Baby, I am not lying to you. Baby, I am honest about what I am telling you. Baby, please believe me. Baby, I will change. Baby, I made a big mistake. Baby, I apologize. Baby, let's stay together for the kids. Baby, I don't know what I would do if you leave.
Ladies, does this word have an effect on you? When he is saying it, does it make you feel better about him cheating on you? After he says it, you calm down and forgive him till the next time he cheats on you. Your man knows after he is caught cheating, he can use his special magic word (baby) to get out of it. Ladies, here is some advice from me. The next time you catch your man cheating, put some cotton in your ears when you are talking to him so you won't hear this word and forget what you are mad about. Ladies, when you do catch your man with his other woman, don't fight her because she may not know that he is married or in a relationship. Beat his ass because he does know. Ladies, it takes two people to make a marriage or relationship work, and the only way a marriage or relationship can work is if both people want it to.
We Need to Teach Our Young Boys about Their Feelings
Let me say this. I am not trying to justify or condone the actions of any man. What I am trying to do is point out some of the reason men do the things they do. Ladies, as little girls you are given dolls, teddy bears, and other things you played with to show love and affection. You take care of them. You nurture them, express feelings for them, and share your emotions for them. As you grow up, you apply these same feelings when you become a young woman and mother when you are raising your family. We give little boys toy guns, action figures, and video games, some of which contain violence. We say things to little boys like, "Be tough" or "Be a man." We teach them not to show their feeling when they get hurt or when someone has hurt them. We must let our little boys know it is all right to cry when they feel hurt and pain and teach them there is nothing to be ashamed about when they show their feelings. Now he is a grown man and doesn't know how to share, show emotions, or express his feelings. He has never had to be caring or to nurture anything, so he doesn't know how. Now every child needs two parents in the home, but unfortunately, that not always the case. Unfortunately in some homes, the man in the home is not the best role model for the young boy. But we need to teach our boys about their feelings at a young age and let them know it is all right to share, nurture, express feelings, show emotion, and talk about hurt and pain. We need to teach them that it is all right to cry and show emotions when you are hurting or in pain. We need to teach them it is all right to care and express the way they feel. If we teach our young boys about their feelings when they are young boys then maybe when they become men, they will know how to express them with their wives or women, and just maybe we will have better marriages and relationships. The key to a good marriage or relationship is love, communication, understanding, caring, and sharing.
Ladies, Do You Think You Deserve Better?
Ladies, look at that list above and ask yourself, "Don't I deserve better? Don't I deserve to be loved? Don't I deserve to be happy? Don't I deserve to live my life stress free and drama free? Don't I deserve to be in a marriage or relationship that is loving and prosperous — one built on caring and sharing and trust? Don't I deserve to have a man in my life who loves only me, and who is trustworthy, respectable, compassionate, understanding, and thoughtful and has a job and will pay the bills or at least help?"
Yes, you do, ladies. You deserve all of those things and much more. Like I said at the start of the book, there are good men out there who will give you or be all of those things to you and much more. You deserve all of those things, but you will never find them if you continue to stay in that marriage or relationship you are in with the man you are no longer happy with. You may be asking yourself, "Where can I find a good man? Where are all the good men?" Ladies, unfortunately, I don't have that answer. If I did I would sell you maps to them and make millions. But what I do have for you is some advice, and here it is: remember where you found that man, and don't go back there.
Ladies, Love Yourself More Than You Love Your Man
Ladies, you tell me your man has given you an STD (sexually transmitted disease) and you stay with him because you say you love him, and if that's the way you feel, okay. But let me ask you this — how can you continue to love a man and have him in your life if he doesn't even care about his own life? Ladies, if your husband or man doesn't care enough about his own life to use a condom or some form of protection when he is cheating on you, what makes you think he cares about your life? Ladies, you say your man has given you a STD and blames you for it for whatever reasons. You accept his apology and allow him to continue to have unprotected sex with you. Ladies, ask yourself, do you love that man that much that you would allow him to play Russian roulette with your life? Ladies, let me say this: if your man cheats on you, he should take full responsibility for the consequences of his action. If you allow him to continue to cheat on you, then you need to take full responsibility for the consequence of your actions. Ladies, HIV, AIDS, and much more is out there. It just hasn't made it to your home yet.
Excerpted from "Why Do Men Cheat?"
Copyright © 2018 Randy Wallace.
Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.